June 20th, 2013
Today I was in a commercial.
A commercial for….
Wait for it…
Ok, so it wasn’t for the system, but it was for an application for it.
Which is still really cool.
I emailed them asking what clothes I should wear.
Generally, you’re told solid bright colors, no logos… and other things of this nature.
They just told me to dress causally.
Suddenly I get trapped in this Woody Allen-like state of Paranoia.
What kind of application is this?
How do I dress for something I don’t know about?
What is going on?
Who am I?
What does it all mean??????
Eventually, I calmed down, put on an outfit, and stuffed a backpack with 10 other outfit combinations.
I headed to midtown and found the office pretty quickly.
Then I was told to head over to make up.
A real make up artist…
This shit was legit.
I got my makeup done and was complemented on how many references I knew.
Then the other actors and I got moved to a conference room. As that was happening, the one odd kid tried to get a job at the company.
They said no immediately.
So we’re all put in this room. 4 of us were at least semi normal, made jokes, and talked about what we were trying to do with ourselves. One girl didn’t talk at all. The odd guy kept saying things like “I used to be a model, but now I’m fat. I’m so ugly.”
One by one people went onto set and filmed their part of the commercial. I was left with one other normal person and the odd guy who turned to us and said:
“Do you think there’s a god? I mean, there’s so much out there… There has to be, right?”
Then the odd guy went on to tell us how hot Amanda Bynes is. He doesn’t care that she’s crazy because she’s a good person and super hot.
He was also really into Lindsay Lohan….
Then, of course, I was left alone with the weird kid.
He immediately turned to me and said:
“Did you know that I have never had a girlfriend? Is it because I’m ugly, you think?”
Luckily, I was soon saved and was told to walk onto the set.
They liked my outfit.
And I made friends with the boom guy.
I swear, make a few dead baby jokes and Cher impressions and you can make friends with anyone in this town.
I filmed my part of the commercial, said thank you, got paid and was on my way home.
When I got there, I forced my boyfriend to help me with my head shots.
I got out my equipment and forced him to stand against the wall like this:
We took a lot of really bad ones…
But, thank god, we took some ones that were actually pretty good…
And I ended up with this: