That Time I Made Paul Rudd Coffee

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As some of you regular readers may know, I worked at a coffee shop in the West Village where celebs of all types frequented. This is NOT where I made Paul Rudd coffee.

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Last fall, I happened to land an internship at ABC News Now (which I will, eventually, write about… but want to hold off because I didn’t actually read the contracts I signed). This internship completely spoiled me. It was paid. I got to do actual work. I learned about Buzzfeed. I met a celebrity or two… or 15 (or maybe 10, whose counting?).

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Anyway, I had known Paul Rudd (and Judd Apatow) were coming to the show I got to PA (or sometimes just watch) when it was filmed.

I was very excited.

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Judd is on my top five list of heroes.

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And Rudd was my childhood crush from back in his Clueless days.

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I could have had the bubonic plague and would have still shown up to work that day.

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Judd showed up first. He was exhausted. They had been doing a ton of interviews. He had just gotten off a plane. I asked (as I was told) if anyone needed anything. Judd said nothing. His people said no thanks. That was all the interaction I had with him.

Sometimes when I tell this story people get mad at him. I always defend him. He wasn’t rude and I was an intern. I basically got paid to be ignored most of the time. He was just a tired guy with a full time job and a wife and kids. I get it.

Then Paul showed up.

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Let me tell you right now, this man has not aged a bit.

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I asked the room if anyone need anything.

Paul turned to me and made direct fucking eye contact and said,

paul-rudd-monsters-vs-aliens“Yeah I’d love a cup of coffee.”

What I was saying on the inside: “Oh my God! He’s making direct fucking eye contact and looking into my soul.”

What I said on the outside: “How do you take it?”

“Black.”

What I said on the inside: “Omg. He’s so cool! He drinks his coffee black.”

What I said on the outside: “I’ll be right back!”

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I literally had to have a pep talk with myself as I made Paul Rudd coffee. I mean, his eyes are vast oceans. I had been hypnotized.

Of course the first machine I used didn’t work and it shot a bunch of grinds into the cup.

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Didn’t the Keurig realize Paul Rudd was waiting for his coffee?

I quickly made another cup on the other machine

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and ran back downstairs.

Lucky for me, the coffee cups at ABC were tiny. You can’t even buy that little coffee.

i_ll_take_some_freedom_guns_supersize_that_540This means, that when I handed the coffee I had made over, Paul Rudd and I had no choice, but to lightly brush fingers.blackadder_ZOMG

Well, I guess he could have told me to put it on a table somewhere and the whole ordeal wouldn’t have happened, but it did.

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I got to stand in the back and watch the interview happen. It went well. Everyone was funny. And they left.

Paul Rudd was in 200 Cigarettes with Ben Affleck…

Who was in Good Will Hunting with Minnie Driver…

Who was in Sleepers with Kevin Bacon.

I am 3 degrees from making direct eye contact with Kevin Bacon and then making him coffee.

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