That Time I Made It Through The Apocalypse

Bring it on, 2013.

Well, it’s happened. I have lived through the zombie apocalypse…

Ok. So there wasn’t actually one. It turned out the Mayans were wrong.

Regardless, I managed to live through December 21st, 2012. (Which I never realized had all of the 12’s in it. That’s a cute little thing we decided).

But still. Another New Year’s Eve and I went to work… which I always do. Normally I waitress, but sitting in front of a computer finding images and video clips to string together in a one minute commercial type deal was a nice change… but I worked by choice.

I mean, it’s New Year’s Eve for God’s sake. I’m only the normal hung over I am on any other regular work day, might as well get paid for it.

So why not work is my first thought.

Not only that, but coming home and partying after working all day is so much more rewarding.

But, for some reason, I’ve always been terrified of New Year’s… even as a child.

I mean, my mother was always having us watch movies where a clown ate children, or children were being possessed, or the world was ending and the only safe place was a mall… So it seemed perfectly fitting that I had an existential melt down every time we went to the neighbor’s new year’s party.

The most traumautizing one I can remember is the Y2K fiasco. I was convinced all the technology would melt down and the aliens were going to steal us away…

Mars Attacks! had also been one of my favorite movies at the time… which is probably where I got the aliens part from, but still. I was terrified.

At quarter to midnight, while the other kids were playing spin the bottle to figure out who they would be kissing, I ran and clutched on to my mother, worried that the toaster would come to life and kill us all.

Also one of my favorite childhood movies.

My mother put down her glass of wine, got down on one knee, and pointed to something I would one day love without any fear it would be unrequited.

She said, “Stevie, look there. On the tv. That’s China. It’s already 2000 for them and nothing happened… and look at all the lights. They’re still on.”

While that should have been comforting, I nodded and walked away… terrified because my mother just didn’t understand. The aliens didn’t care about China. They wanted to take over America, because that’s what they always did on The Twilight Zone

Which was also one of my favorite things to watch as a child.

My God I was patriotic back then.

Well, Y2K came and went just as December 21st 2012 did and I’m still not fighting any zombies or aliens…

Or learn how to drive a car amazingly well.

(Sorry, John)

I did watch Grizzly Man.

Direct Quote. (Not a Joke)

But I pretty much expect the same things out of 2013 as I did out of 2012.

Black President.

Potential apocalypse

(Those two things are not related)

But what I’m most excited for in 2013?

Happy New Years!


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