My Assumption Was Correct, My Will Power Isn’t Great. Paleo Day 1

No sugar. No dairy. No grains. I’m starting to want things I’ve never wanted just because I can’t have them (I have a big problem with authority… even my own). My will power is slipping. I’m starting to wonder if I should pick up smoking again just so I can do this diet for thirty days… you know, for my health.

I was fine, really. Breakfast went over well.

I had to wake up at 5:15am for my last shift ever (god willing) as a Barista and this breakfast was perfect. Eggs, almonds, watermelon. Huzzah, Gathered!

Easy as pie. Well, not pie. I can’t eat pie. Anyway…

So that was all and good until I got to work and realized I couldn’t put honey and half and half into my coffee.

Later, I calmed down and switched to tea… so basically I’m exhausted. I got into my head that I’m going to be tired so I am tired.

Three hours later, I’m dying from starvation. I moved the apple I’m allowed to have as a snack to right then in fear that I will surely die without it.

Lunch was a really bad (Paleo) Salad from EuropaCafe. It looked pretty, but tasted fucking terrible (What People Say About Hookers). I took a few bites and got rid of it (What Zombies Say About Hookers). I am glad I will no longer have to settle for EuropaCafe.

After my shift, I ate the rest of my snack with a black cherry flavored seltzer I gathered from the local 7-11. Not too bad, things are looking up.

Hung out with Jeff Goldblum for a little while…

And had salmon and green beans for dinner… which I have to eat again… for breakfast.

So far how do I feel about Paleo?

Well, I feel satisfied and oddly unsatisfied at the same time… which is probably just a nasty sugar detox mixed

with binge watching the United States of Tara

But, I found this website (which I found out was a tumblr) that really lifted my spirits.

It’s really a great website filled with how to eat amazing food when you’re paleo. If you had a dinner party with these recipes, no one might even notice it was paleo. They would just think you’re a food snob. I’m totally fine with that. I love being a snob.

So really, I don’t know. Let’s see how Paleo Happy Hour goes tomorrow. Hey, the book was totally fine with me drinking tequila and lime juice.

Holy shit…

I just found a recipe for brussel sprout chips.

Things are starting to look up.


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