No sugar. No dairy. No grains. I’m starting to want things I’ve never wanted just because I can’t have them (I have a big problem with authority… even my own). My will power is slipping. I’m starting to wonder if I should pick up smoking again just so I can do this diet for thirty days… you know, for my health.
I was fine, really. Breakfast went over well.
I had to wake up at 5:15am for my last shift ever (god willing) as a Barista and this breakfast was perfect. Eggs, almonds, watermelon. Huzzah, Gathered!
Easy as pie. Well, not pie. I can’t eat pie. Anyway…
So that was all and good until I got to work and realized I couldn’t put honey and half and half into my coffee.
Later, I calmed down and switched to tea… so basically I’m exhausted. I got into my head that I’m going to be tired so I am tired.
Three hours later, I’m dying from starvation. I moved the apple I’m allowed to have as a snack to right then in fear that I will surely die without it.
Lunch was a really bad (Paleo) Salad from EuropaCafe. It looked pretty, but tasted fucking terrible (What People Say About Hookers). I took a few bites and got rid of it (What Zombies Say About Hookers). I am glad I will no longer have to settle for EuropaCafe.
After my shift, I ate the rest of my snack with a black cherry flavored seltzer I gathered from the local 7-11. Not too bad, things are looking up.
Hung out with Jeff Goldblum for a little while…
And had salmon and green beans for dinner… which I have to eat again… for breakfast.
So far how do I feel about Paleo?
Well, I feel satisfied and oddly unsatisfied at the same time… which is probably just a nasty sugar detox mixed
with binge watching the United States of Tara
But, I found this website (which I found out was a tumblr) that really lifted my spirits.
It’s really a great website filled with how to eat amazing food when you’re paleo. If you had a dinner party with these recipes, no one might even notice it was paleo. They would just think you’re a food snob. I’m totally fine with that. I love being a snob.
So really, I don’t know. Let’s see how Paleo Happy Hour goes tomorrow. Hey, the book was totally fine with me drinking tequila and lime juice.
I just found a recipe for brussel sprout chips.
Things are starting to look up.