We’re Going Paleo.

Let’s face it- America (and every other country that can afford it) is obese. If not obese, then I think we can come to a comprise and say chubby.

It’s gotten bad. On NYC subways, more than half of the people in the car are overweight. New Yorkers walk EVERY WHERE. What and how much are these people eating to get to be so big in a place where your main mode of transportation is your feet?

Not only that, but TV is filled to the brim with weight-loss shows…

And shows that can take us into the lives of the obese….


Half Ton Mum


Half Ton Son


And Maury’s “Fat Baby” Themed Episodes where I weight about the same as a 3 year old.

And now our regular old sitcoms have started to have main characters who are obese because it’s “normal” and “ok”.

Now, I’m not saying that overweight people should be chased out into the streets by an angry mob and be tried as witches, I’m just saying that maybe we don’t say it’s all right for everyone to be twice the size of an average person.

I originally became enraged with everyone saying being fat was “ok” when I watched a particular documentary. There’s a group of fat women advocates that say they are healthier than skinny people. Not so fast… er, well, not fast… but… — Anyway, I could see how some of these morbidly obese people could be equally unhealthy compared with an anorexic or bulimic, but they are by no means “healthier” than those people. Not only that, but not all “skinny” people are anorexic.

Being overweight comes with a host of diseases. You are more susceptible to heart attacks, cancer, diabetes, and just stopping breathing one day. Being fat will kill you just as fast as big Tabacco will. That Oreo that you’re putting in your mouth is pretty damn close to heroine. One day you’ll overdose.

I became even more enraged when the head of their group was talking about their newest rally for the way they are mistreated at their gyno’s office. They think it’s unfair that they can’t fit in the chair. — My blood began to boil as I said aloud “Bitch, those chairs are people sized. It’s not their fault you’re no longer the size of people.”

I digress.

Now, I’m a small person, but I am by no means a fit person. Being 5 feet tall I am blessed with a smaller stature, but I am most definitely skinny fat. I have the upper body strength of a small child and the muscle ton of jello, but I appear slender (with clothes on).

So, with the apocalypse coming in December, I decided to try something that would help me survive. Something that could get me healthy and in shape while getting in touch with my ancestors and their eating in Hunter/Gatherer mode.

I’d heard Paleo mentioned a few times and have watched every documentary about caveman life and the human evolution that Netflix Instant has to offer- So naturally, I became curious.

I acquired a copy of Robb Wolf’s book The Paleo Solution and tore through it. He was witty, charming, funny, and willing to accept the fact that his readers were probably going to drink and recommended tequila and lime juice. I could swing this.

So What is Paleo?

As said by NerdFitness:

The Paleo Diet is an effort to eat like we used to back in the day…WAY back in the day.  If a caveman couldn’t eat it, neither can you.”

Because of a gluten intolerance, I already don’t eat most grains, so there’s really only a few things I have to cut out of my diet to go paleo. There’s dairy (which might kill me), corn, beans, peanuts, and basically all other grain based carbohydrates.

I’m going to work out, follow the 30 day meal plan, and see what happens. Supposedly you lose fat, gain muscle, and feel the best you’ve ever felt in your life. Worse comes to worst, it will teach me how to think like a scavenger which will be helpful when the zombies arrive.

So 3rd Goal For August: Do the Paleo 30 Day meal plan.

Goodbye, Ice Cream, cheese, and Tu-Lu’s Gluten-Free Bakery. I’ll see you in September.

August Goal #3: Prove you do actually have will power by following the Paleo Diet for 30 Days.

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