I Joined a Creative Writing Group.

I guess Goal For August #2 is met. I didn’t even know this was one of my goals, but apparently it is.

One of the girls from work invited me to her sunday night writing group. They continuously apologized that there were only four of them and that half of them were sick, but they were a lot of fun. There were two artists (comic book focused), a musician whose facial hair looked like the V for Vendetta mask, and a semi-secret spy (this is only half true- It’s like the time they told me my appendix was taken out laparoscopically and I tell everyone a robot did it).

Luckily for me, no one did the homework assignment (the prompt was “The People That Love You Will Gather In Rooms“) so I fit right in. I learned a new word (Squish-mitten, AKA vagina) and we did some creative exercises. It really got my creative juices flowing.

We went out for dinner after and suddenly I realized I was the 5th wheel. I even sat on the side of the table. Luckily, I can make any situation about me and did not feel left out.

I will go again, if they want me, and will make it my new new August Goal #2: To not get kicked out of my creative writing group for 4 weeks.

Tune in next week for our exciting continuation of…

“I joined a creative writing group.”

I leave you with what I came up with from our writing exercises.


Exercise: Haikus

Prompt: Tornados 

Tangent: I was asked to pick a prompt. I came up with this because I saw the trailer for “Metal Tornado” earlier. It stars Lou Diamond Phillips and it looks so bad that it will be too good. Here’s the trailer.

What I Wrote:

Would a tornado
Be able to be controlled
To help fight zombies?

Hey, Bill Paxton fans
Remember the film “Twister”?
That was a good one.

“Aim for the soft spot”
Isn’t very much help, now.
It’s a tornado.

Chuck Norris shows fear
When looking in a mirror
And a tornado.

A soda bottle
Some water, an afternoon.
Homemade tornadoes.

The vast, dry desert.
Critters hide from the howls of
Tornado People.

Pull out the lawn chairs.
Grab your mullets, baby, and beer.
It’s tornado time.


Exercise: Haikus

Prompt: Trump

Tangent: Almost immediately I thought of the dream I had a year ago where Donald Trump’s head was on the Sphinx’s body. He was crushing all of the buildings in New York City that he didn’t own. I turned to whoever my subconscious had cast as my side kick and yelled, “We should go to my apartment!” “Why?”, they replied over the sound of concrete falling to the ground. “Because nobody wants to go to Brooklyn!”

What I Wrote:

Trump For President
Could be a different timeline
For current Sliders.

Wait, did he say “trump”?
Perhaps he said “chump” or “trunk”.
I should listen more.


Exercise: Write a sentence no one has ever said before.

Tangent: At some point, I went on a doctor kick.

What I Wrote:

Eyebrows- 10 cents a piece, 15 for a set. Get your eyebrows here!

Ingredient #1: Spam
Ingredient #2: Bathroom tile

James Cameron does the best Bill Paxton impression.

Cholera, smolera; you’ll be fine.

Well, if you’re right I’ll eat my diaphragm.

Well, Doctor, yesterday everything was just fine… but this morning I woke up and my squish-mitten felt positively odd.

Well, Jenny, we’ve figured out what’s wrong with your face… You’ve got a terrible case of appendicitis.

Is there a data processor in the house? This woman needs medical attention. I SAID “Is there a data processor in the house!”

Hey, pickles are the reason your uncle is in jail!

Felicia, I dare say you’re showing a bit too much left ventricle… don’t you think?

August Goal #2: Go to the next four meetings of the creative writing group.


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